I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
