dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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