trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So squirting runs in the family.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize