I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
