So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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