I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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