You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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