At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
