I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
