$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
