I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
