"it" just moved
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
