real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
