I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
