i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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