When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
