my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
