imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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