I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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