i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
