you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
