Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
