This girl is more easily done than said...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
