Do you still have your period?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
