well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
