She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
