I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
