The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
