Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
