i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
please don't ironically join a cult
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
