I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
