Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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