I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
