You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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