He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize