We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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