she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
