just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
