ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
