And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
