Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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