Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
