omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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