if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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