Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
