oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
