Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The air taste purple.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
