Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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