If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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