tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
