i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
